That Darned Cat
by Tezza1502
Summary: Just an odd little 'What If' that I've had floating around on my computer. The title explains the subject somewhat. Not to be taken seriously at all! Just sit back, and enjoy the sillyness...


That Darned Cat

By: Tezza1502

Disclaimer: 'Love Hina' ain't mine. Nor is it yours. It's Ken Akamatsu's, along with TOKYOPOP®. So there!

* * *

This story is dedicated to _**Sooky**_, _**Zeety**_, and _**Bo**_, who watched over my Soulmate while she slept.

* * *

The day was going along in pretty much a normal fashion for Keitaro Urashima:

"_**WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"**_

Flying through the air in a tangle of limbs, he saw that this time he was going to land in an alley behind a block of flats. _'Damn! I __hate__ concrete!!' _He thought with a quiet curse to whoever had invented the stuff just before he impacted.

Pulling himself back together, he glanced around to get his bearings, trying to gauge how much this trip back to the Hinata was going to cost him in fares. Seeing a familiar bookstore across the road, he let out a sigh of relief. _'Whew! Only four blocks. I can walk back from here.' _Getting to his feet, he was about to begin his short trip when a plaintive mewl behind him pulled him up short.

'_What the…?' _Spinning around, his first thought was that Tama-chan had somehow followed him. He then realised that the sound was a bit weaker than the hot-water turtle's usual greeting. It came again, accompanied by some movement from a Hessian sack hidden badly behind a dumpster.

He approached it cautiously, months of living with Kaolla Su having instilled in him a deep distrust of innocent-looking objects. Inspecting it closely, he decided finally that it was harmless. "H-hello?" He said softly, giving it a poke with the toe of his shoe. Upon doing this, whatever was in the bag began moving more frantically, as if trying to get his attention. Its cries, however, were still weak.

'_Whatever it is, it sounds sick or something.' _He thought as he untied the twine at the top of the bag. Opening it slowly, he saw:

"A cat!"

He nearly let go of the bag in surprise. And again when the smell hit him. "Ugh. I guess you've been in there a while, little guy." He wrinkled his nose at the cat, who was looking up at him with a pathetically grateful expression. Trying to escape it's prison, it attempted to leap away. But being so weak, all it did was slide around in the bag.

"Woah, hey there. I don't think you're in any condition to be doing that sort of thing." Keitaro chided. Scratching his head, he thought about what he was going to do now. _'I can't exactly leave it here. It looks pretty weak.' _He noted the ribs poking out slightly. _'But I don't know if I know anyone who would be willing to take it in.' _Dropping his shoulders as his generous nature took over again, Keitaro sighed. _'I guess…you're coming with me. At least as far as the nearest vet.' _Gathering up the bag, he held it at arms length and made his way out of the alley.

* * *

"I should have walked." Keitaro said to himself for the fifth time as he rode the tram towards the nearest veterinary practice. The only reason he even knew that there was one nearby was because he wanted to know where to take Tama-chan in case the turtle got sick. It was Naru's, after all. And his life would not be worth the cost of a postage stamp if he couldn't show her where to get help for her pet twenty-four/seven. After all, he _was _the _Kanrinin_. He was _supposed _to know these things.

The reason he was lamenting his choice of transport was that he smelled. Or rather, the bag with the cat inside did. The other passengers were not shy about showing their displeasure, either. That, combined with the struggling and mewling going on inside all served to make everyone else on the tram think that he was a poster child for cruelty towards animals. And after the third remark about what kind of person he was, he had given up trying to explain the situation. As usual, no one was interested in his side of things.

Upon reaching the vet, he immediately ran into rampant misconceptions about the situation again:

"Excuse me, but could you-"

The receptionist interrupted as she looked him up and down. "Do you have an appointment?"

"Uh…no, but could-"

"Come back when you do, then. There are other people in line, you know." She sniffed and began to turn away.

"Look, all I want is for someone to have a look at this-"

The receptionist's eyes fell to the bag in Keitaro's hand, which was shifting slightly. "_Oh my God! _What have you got in there!" She shouted, drawing the attention of the other people in the waiting room.

Keitaro lifted the bag onto the counter and started again. "Like I've been trying to tell you, I found this-"

"What are you doing with a cat in a bag?" The receptionist quickly undid the knot and rolled the bag down enough to reveal the poor cat inside. "What sort of person are you to do this to a poor, defenceless animal!" She demanded angrily, looking at him as if he had just crawled out from under a rock at the bottom of a sewer. It was a look echoed by the other pet owners, who began whispering amongst themselves as to what type of person Keitaro was to do a thing to an obviously sick animal.

Having been on the receiving end of such looks and comments like this for the past few months, Keitaro was not as affected as he might have been a year ago. "If I could just-" He tried again as the whispering grew louder.

"What's going on out here?" A booming male voice cut through the growing din.

"This…_person_…just brought in an obviously distressed cat." The receptionist sniffed before Keitaro could get a word in. "I was about to call the JSPCA and report him for neglect."

"**LOOK!**" Keitaro, having had enough after an already trying day, slammed his hand down on the counter, making everyone jump slightly. "I _found _that cat tied up in that bag, stuffed behind a dumpster. I came _several _blocks out of my way here to see if I could get it checked out and find out if there was any identification on it. I have copped _more _than enough abuse on the way here because of people jumping to the wrong conclusions. _If _I was as horrible as everyone seems to think I am, I would have easily left it to die where I found it without a second thought." He was breathing heavily by now, not used to being able to get a word out in his own defence after being accused of something. "But I _didn't_. So, if it's not _too _much trouble, could _someone _in here do their _effing job _and see if this cat is _injured_!" The room was stunned into silence at his outburst.

He looked around the room, his own disgust plain on his face. "You know what? _Forget it! _I've done the right thing by trying to help the little guy." He indicated the cat. "Now that he's here, it's your problem. I'm out of here! I cop enough of this crap at home." Keitaro snarled and turned to leave.

"Just a moment, please, young man." The vet asked soothingly.

Keitaro paused. The vet turned to his receptionist. "Kimi, what have I told you about jumping to conclusions?" He demanded crossly.

"But…" She started.

"I see nothing here to indicate that this animal is afraid of this young man." He pointed to the cat, which was actually trying to move towards Keitaro. "Furthermore, if he had done something, even a complete idiot would attempt to hide it better. Or at least own a cat box. If indeed such a person would bother to bring the animal to a vet in the first place." By now, the receptionist was looking very embarrassed at having made all those assumptions about Keitaro. "Young man…I'm sorry, I don't know your name."

Keitaro, stunned at someone actually coming to his defence, blinked a few times before realising that he had been asked a question. "Huh? Oh, uh Urashima. Keitaro Urashima."

"Urashima?" The vet blinked back in surprise. "Would you happen to be any relation to Hina Urashima?"

"Yes. She's my grandmother, actually. I am managing the Hinata apartments for her while she's away on her trip around the world." It was a small lie. Usually, no one believes him when he says that he owns the Hinata now. He's found that bending the truth like this saves him a lot of hassles.

The vet glanced around the room. "I find it hard to believe that someone Hina-sama has placed such trust in would possess the type of mind capable of abandoning or hurting a helpless animal like that." He looked pointedly at his receptionist as he said that. Granny Hina was well known, liked and respected across the Hinata district. Those that knew her, and there were a few in the room, found it hard to believe that the woman who had a knack for collecting and helping human strays would entrust her tenants to a person capable of harming an animal in such a way.

Looking around at the changing attitude towards the young man she had been shouting at, Kimi gulped. "I-I apologise for accusing you of animal cruelty, Urashima-san." The receptionist bowed low. "I should not have jumped to conclusions before listening to your side of the story."

It took Keitaro a moment to respond. Usually when he's been found to be innocent of an accusation, he's lucky not to get a smack behind the ear for being a smart-arse. "Th-that's okay. Apology accepted." He stammered. "Could you see how he is now?" He pointed at the cat.

Grateful for the chance to do something other than think about how stupid she had just been, the receptionist busied herself with taking the cat out the back for a cursory check-up while the vet talked with Keitaro.

"Urashima-san. First of all, I wish to apologise for the behaviour of my receptionist. Such presumptuousness is inexcusable, especially from someone who works for me." He bowed low in apology.

Keitaro gestured quickly for him to straighten up. "Th-that's alright. Happens to me all the time. Don't worry about it." Looking towards the door she had recently gone through, he continued talking. "I might have come to the same conclusion, myself. Just as long as she thinks a bit more the next time something like this happens." He said, not wanting the girl to be fired over what was, for him, such a minor incident.

The vet, noting that this man in front of him clearly did not wish to carry the matter further, quietly let it drop. "Very well. Could you tell me, when you found the cat, was there any collar nearby? Something to indicate it who owned it before they abandoned it."

Keitaro thought hard. "No. Nothing." He looked over at the door Kimi had taken it through. "Um, what's going to happen to it now?"

The vet eyed Keitaro speculatively as he spoke. "Well, unless we find out that it's been chipped, we will most likely surrender it to an animal shelter."

"Chipped?"

"Yes. Some owners implant a small computer chip under the skin of their pets with their contact details imprinted on it, just in case their pet goes missing. We can scan for it and find the details on our computer. But if it doesn't have one, we will hand it over to a shelter. After that, if it isn't adopted, it will be put down." He concluded, somewhat sadly.

"Oh." Keitaro fell silent. The vet excused himself after that to go and check on the cat, leaving him to sit in the waiting room to think.

* * *

An hour or so later, he was called out the back by a still red-faced Kimi. When he was led to a cage, what he found surprised him.

"Wow! Hard to believe it's the same cat." Sitting in the middle of the cage was a pure white feline contentedly grooming itself after obviously eating a large meal. When it spotted Keitaro, it got to its feet and began rubbing itself against the cage nearest him while purring loudly.

"Yes. I'm actually surprised that such a good-looking cat was abandoned like that. He's a he, by the way. And de-sexed, too." The vet said from behind him. Reaching over, he unlocked the cage. It immediately sprang to the floor and began winding itself around Keitaro's legs enthusiastically.

"er…" Keitaro was at a loss. He had never been greeted this affectionately before by anything. Except perhaps his sister.

"Never owned a cat before?" Keitaro shook his head nervously. "Well, it's okay to pick him up if you want. We've given him a bath and de-flea'd him. Other than a bit of malnourishment, he's in surprisingly good shape."

Reaching down, Keitaro gingerly picked the cat up. After a bit of fumbling, he found a position that was comfortable for both of them. "Are…are they supposed to do that?" He asked as it butted his chin with its head, purring even louder.

"If they like you." The vet chuckled. "Cats have scent glands on the corner of their mouths. What he's doing right now is marking you as his territory."

Keitaro looked nonplussed. _'Marking me, huh? Well, it's less painful than the way the girls back at the Hinata go about it!' _Upon thinking that, he realised that he had been gone from the Hinata for several hours now. _'Oh well, its not like I'll be missed.' _He shrugged internally, refocusing on the current situation. "Um, did you find a chip in him?"

"No." The vet sighed. "And no other sign of identification either. So we'll have to send him to the shelter."

Keitaro looked down at the cat in his arms, a familiar feeling of protectiveness coming over him. Before his mind could come up with any reasons as to why this was a bad idea, he opened his mouth. "Can I have him then?" He asked hopefully.

The vet had wondered if the young man before him would ask that. Still…

"Are you sure? This is not a responsibility to be taken on lightly."

"I run the Hinata apartments, so I'm familiar with responsibility." Keitaro rejoined, a little indignantly. "Besides, he's a cat. How hard could it be?"

The vet chuckled. "They're a bit different to looking after humans. The amount of trouble they can cause is amazing sometimes."

"You've never met my tenants." Keitaro retorted under his breath.

* * *

After filling out some registration forms and buying a cat box, Keitaro exited the clinic with an appointment to bring the cat back in a few months for a check-up. The receptionist even slipped him some cat food and toys when the vet wasn't looking as a way of making up for her earlier behaviour.

Keitaro was glad that the misunderstanding had been cleared up before things got out of hand. Besides, she was kinda cute! Bringing the cat back would not be a chore. "So, what am I going to call you, I wonder?" He asked absently, poking a finger through the cage so he could scratch under his new pet's chin. Travelling by tram again, the atmosphere was remarkably different this time. With a new box containing an obviously happy occupant, and an armful of cat paraphernalia, the comments were a lot more kindly this time. Older people were smiling at the obvious affection he was showering on the cat, while a few younger girls could be overheard whispering about how cute the whole scene looked. Keitaro had to concentrate on not blushing when he heard those. Still, he reasoned, he would rather comments like that than before.

Reaching the Hinata stop, he carefully got off and headed for home. Passing his aunts teahouse, he was called over by Haruka. "Is that what I think it is?" She cocked an eyebrow at the box in his hand.

"This? Well yeah." He shrugged. "I kinda found him when I landed. Someone had tied him up in a bag and abandoned him to die. I couldn't just leave him, so…"

"You adopted him, huh?" Haruka sighed.

Keitaro got a determined look in his eye. "Look, he's been checked out. I took him to a vet, and he's got a clean bill of health. It was either this, or he went to a shelter."

"And would have been destroyed if he hadn't been bought by someone." Haruka's expression softened. "Well, it's your responsibility now. Have you got food?" She knelt down to get a better look at the newest tenant up at the Hinata.

Keitaro nodded. "I bought some stuff while I was at the vets. I got food, the box (obviously), a couple of toys, and a book about cat behaviour. It was a bit expensive, but I had to have something." He reasoned to her.

"Friendly little thing." She commented as the cat purred for her. "What about Kitty-litter and a tray?"

"That too."

"Well, looks like your all set. Now you just have to explain to the others." Haruka nodded up the hill.

"It's not like they take much notice of what I do anyway. As long as Su doesn't develop a taste for domestic short hairs, it shouldn't be a problem." He shrugged.

"I'll come up later and see hows he's settling in." Haruka said as Keitaro started up the stairs.

He waved over his shoulder. "Okay."

* * *

Getting inside the Hinata, he called out a greeting as he dumped everything next to the couch. Placing the cat box gently on the floor, he opened it and caught the cat as it tried to get past him. "Uh-uh! Stop that. I want to introduce you to everyone and show you around before I let you go." He scolded gently as he scratched it under the chin. It immediately stopped struggling and soaked up the pampering instead. "It's a good thing Motoko is away on one of her training trips right now. She doesn't usually take well to new residents who are male."

"New resident?" Came a voice from behind him.

"Oh, hi Shinobu. Sort of." He turned around so she could see the bundle in his arms. "I haven't actually named him yet. Want to help?"

"Oh wow! A kitty. Hello Kitty!" She gushed as she bounced up. "Where did you get him?"

"Someone abandoned him in the alley I landed in today. No I.D., no nothing. So I adopted him." Keitaro explained simply.

* * *

Outside the room, Naru had been about to enter when she heard Keitaro's voice. Drawing back, she decided to listen in on him and Shinobu, waiting to pounce if something perverted happened. She had missed the start of the conversation, but she reasoned that it shouldn't be too hard to pick up the thread.

* * *

"_Can I touch it?" Shinobu asked excitedly._

"_Sure." Came Keitaro's reply. "Just be gentle with it."_

"_I didn't know they came in that colour?" She sounded curious as she struggled with something._

"_Well, it's a bit rare, but not unusual." He agreed amiably._

"_It's big though. Solid too." She grunted slightly._

"_If it's too much for you…" He enquired cautiously._

"_No, its okay. I can handle it." A bit of fumbling could be heard._

"_Whoop! Careful!"_

"_I'm trying, but it's twitching too much."_

"_Its okay, calm down!"_

"_Yeah, there we go. That's better." They both sounded relieved._

* * *

Naru had heard enough.

Letting out a blood-curdling roar, she streaked into the room and punched Keitaro into the kitchen. "YOU PERVERT! How could you do that to Shinobu?"

"Sempai!" Shinobu screamed. Rounding on Naru, the teen actually scolded her. "Naru! How could you?" She spat as she raced past Naru after Keitaro.

Confused, Naru followed. "But…but Shinobu, he was-" She stuttered, trying to explain herself.

"HE WAS SHOWING ME HIS NEW CAT!" Shinobu hurled from the doorway to the kitchen before entering.

"Huh?" Just then, a white blur ran past her and followed Shinobu. Naru did a double take. "Huh!"

Entering the room, she saw Shinobu helping Keitaro sit up on the floor. A white cat was rubbing its face against his chest in what Naru could only assume was a worried manner. "Oh." She whispered sheepishly.

"Sempai, are you alright?" Shinobu checked him over as she asked.

Keitaro blinked a few times as he tried to focus on her. "I'm fine, Shinobu. What happened?"

"Naru blew her top over nothing. As usual." She answered him with an unusual degree of snideness.

"Uh-huh." He sighed. Noticing the frantic cat rubbing against him, he stroked it to try and calm it. "Shhh. It's okay. I'm alright. You'll get used to it if you stay here long enough." He soothed.

"Keitaro. What are you doing with a cat?" Naru asked.

"Its mine. Or, according to what everyone at the vet has told me, I'm his." He joked.

"Whatever." Dismissing his attempt at levity, she walked over to get a better look at it. "Got a name for it yet-**OUCH!!**"

Apparently, the as yet unnamed cat did not like it when someone attacked his new owner/servant. It swatted at Naru's legs with bared claws, leaving four slightly red grooves on her ankle.

"Ow! You little…" Naru tried to reach for it. Big mistake. It just gave the cat more targets to scratch. Two bleeding hands later, Naru gave up and retreated.

'_Heh! Bad kitty.' _Keitaro thought to himself with amusement while Shinobu hid a smirk behind her hand.

"Get rid of it, Baka. It's obviously wild." Naru demanded angrily.

"No."

Naru stared at him, wide-eyed. "What did you just say?"

"I said 'no'." Keitaro picked up the cat and stroked it. "He's not wild. He's mine, and I'm keeping him."

"Maybe he just doesn't like you?" Shinobu put in softly. "Sometimes, cats just don't like people. My aunt used to have this cat that would not let certain people near it." She reached over and gently scratched behind its neck. "We could never figure out why. But if someone it didn't like tried to touch it, it would hiss and scratch until it was left alone."

Naru was a bit put out. "But…but why would it hurt me? I haven't done anything to it." The irony of that question was completely lost on her. But _not _on Keitaro, who wisely kept his mouth shut.

"I don't know, but maybe you should give him some space until he gets used to you, Naru." Shinobu replied.

"Fine! Whatever!" Naru huffed as she flounced out of the room. "Stupid cat…"

After she was gone, Keitaro picked up the cat and looked it in the eye. "You're ghostly white. You don't say much. Shinobu likes you but Naru doesn't want you here. And you can cause a great deal of trouble just by being in the room. My name is taken, so I guess I'll have to call you Oni, then." The newly christened Oni meowed at him in agreement.

* * *

That night and the next morning went reasonably well. Keitaro set up Oni's tray in a corner of his bedroom, while his bedding went into the opposite corner. He planned not to let Oni out at night so as to save the surrounding nightlife from a new predator. He felt it was expected of him as a responsible cat owner.

Introductions to the rest of the tenants that afternoon had proceeded a lot smoother than Naru's. Kitsune gave him a drunken scratch behind the ears on her way to the couch. Su immediately fell in love with his ability to purr, and immediately demanded that Oni show her how he did it. It made for an interesting spectacle, watching Su try to cajole an answer out of the cat. What was funnier was the expression on Oni's face. Keitaro swore that his new pet was getting a great deal of enjoyment out of driving their resident genius around the twist by only answering her with a smug expression and still more purring. Even Tama-chan took to the new resident amiably.

Tama-chan's reaction had actually worried Keitaro the most. Even he knew that pets could get very defensive about new additions into their territory. But, all that happened was that they both sniffed each other. Oni had then gently touched Tama's shell curiously with a paw before rubbing against the turtle for a bit and sauntering off. Tama-chan let out an agreeable 'myah', waved at Oni's retreating back and flew away in the opposite direction.

Keitaro introduction to the feline version of a wake-up call came early the next morning. He had briefly flicked through the book he had picked up at the vets before turning in the night before, trying to find out a bit more about what he had let himself in for. But nothing could prepare him for the way he was woken up.

* * *

Oni wanted out. He had been happy to spend the night curled up next to his new hot water bottle, Keitaro. But it was time to explore. So he set about trying to wake his new owner. First came the meowing in his ear. Keitaro just rolled away from the noise.

Next, he tried touching a paw to Keitaro's face lightly. Keitaro swatted his hands around, mumbling to let him sleep for five more minutes.

When that didn't work, he tried licking. Cats use their tongue to groom themselves, almost perpetually, so Keitaro's hair didn't stand a chance. He was in for a fright when he got a look in the mirror later.

Finally, Keitaro could no longer ignore the swatting and pacing over his body any longer. With a groan, he cracked his eyelids open, coming face to face with a vertically slitted green eye, peering curiously into his own at a range of one inch. "Meow?"

"GAAHH!!" Keitaro bolted straight up, flailing his arms about. "What? Who?"

Oni waited until he had calmed down a bit before sauntering up onto his lap and butting his head against Keitaro's chest.

"Oh, it's you." Keitaro gasped, relieved. Usually when someone was in his room trying to wake him in the morning, the first thing he knew about it was a whooshing sound as he flew through the air. "Lemme guess. You want out." Oni butted him one more time before strutting over to the door and sitting down. He extended a paw and scratched it once. "Right." Getting up, Keitaro walked over and slid the door open just enough for Oni to slip through. "There you go, your majesty. Try not to antagonise the others." Keitaro said sarcastically as Oni walked past him with a non-committal 'meow.'

Rubbing his eyes, Keitaro shut the door again and flopped back into bed. Feeling something slimy on the side of his face, he found where Oni had been licking him. Wiping his hand on his shirt, he rolled over and tried to ignore the patches he had missed. "Gross! This was _not _in the book." He grunted.

* * *

Making his way downstairs, Oni sought out the easy touch he had identified straight away yesterday. As he passed the couch where the resident fox had passed out the night before, he managed to tickle Kitsune's nose with his tail as he went by. Grunting with annoyance, she opened her eyes and saw the white feline marching determinedly towards the kitchen. _'Hunh? That was real? I thought I only dreamed I saw a cat yesterday.' _She sounded vaguely disappointed at that. She must have been more sober than she thought at that time of the afternoon.

* * *

Entering the kitchen, Oni wandered over to her and began winding his body around Shinobu's legs, purring loudly. She had been daydreaming about her favourite sempai when something soft and warm touched her suddenly. She managed to clamp her hands over her mouth as she squealed. This was a habit she was trying to train herself to do whenever she was startled, as any loud noise from her automatically meant that her sempai would be beaten for doing something 'perverted' to her. Whether he was remotely nearby or not.

Getting herself under control, she looked around for the owner of the light, fuzzy touch. As she glanced around, she wondered if she was going crazy when she saw nothing behind her. Then she heard the purring. "Oni! You scared me half to death!" Shinobu gasped with relief as she leant down and picked up the new resident. Giving him a quick scratch and allowing him to butt his head against hers, she placed him on the bench and set about getting him some food.

"Don't tell Sempai that I fed you up here, Oni-san." She asked the cat as she placed his meal in front of him. "It's not very sanitary, you know." Oni gave her a look as if to say, _'And…? Tell it to someone who cares. Not __my__ problem.' _

"What's not sanitary? And is it dirty enough to be interesting? Must be, if it's happening on the kitchen bench!"" Kitsune slurred from the doorway.

"_Kitsune!_" Shinobu flushed bright red at the thought of something…_improper _happening to in the kitchen. Possibly with Keitaro involved.

'_Heh. I really shouldn't do that to her all the time.' _Kitsune thought, before shaking her head. _'Nah! She looks just soooo cute when she gets sprung having naughty thoughts about her sempai.' _Rubbing some sleep from her eyes, Kitsune finally manages to focus on the other occupant of the kitchen. "So where'd _that _come from?" She exclaimed, pointing at Oni. Before Shinobu could answer, she did it herself. "No wait. Keitaro brought it home yesterday, didn't he." She muttered, pulling up the appropriate memory from her sake-soaked brain. "Cute little guy, aren't you." She stated while running a hand down the length of Oni's back before giving him a brief scratch behind the ears. Oni briefly arched his back in appreciation before returning to the important business of eating breakfast.

Making sure she was out of the way, Kitsune leant against a wall and sipped her coffee while watching the Hinata's diminutive cooking dynamo go about her work. "So, what did Kei call it?" She indicated to the feline with her cup.

"Sempai decided to name him Oni." Shinobu replied.

"Hm…what do you think about this newest addition to our little group?"

"Well…I don't mind." The younger girl answered with a shrug. "Sempai seemed happier than he usually does after he returned. Normally when he gets back after being hit by Naru, he's all mopey and sad and trying to apologise to her. This time, he was just…cheerful. Even after she hit him again when she misunderstood a conversation between him and me."

"She did?" Kitsune grimaced. _'Damn, girl! Keep that up, an' you're gonna drive him away for good.' _Shaking her head, she asked what happened next. When she heard the details, she nearly spit out her mouthful of coffee trying not to laugh. "Oh, that's priceless!" She chuckled. "How many bandaids did she need?"

"Several." Shinobu replied with a slight grin.

"'Several' what?" Another blurry voice came from behind Kitsune.

"Oh, hi Naru." Kitsune said brightly as Shinobu busied herself quickly with her cooking again so as to hide her embarrassment at almost being caught enjoying the memory of the Toudai aspirant cursing her inability to relate to a cat. "I was just getting up to speed on your introduction to the newest tenant."

"Stupid cat!" Naru grumbled as she made her way towards the coffee maker, throwing a glare at Oni as it continued to eat on the counter. "All I wanted was to be friends with the damn thing. It didn't need to go ballistic on me."

"S'funny. I think I've heard Keitaro say the same thing occasionally." Kitsune whispered to Shinobu, who burst into fresh giggles.

"What're you two going on about?" Naru asked while she waited for the coffee to kick-start her higher brain functions.

"Oh, nothing. Just wondering how Motoko'll take to the new addition." Kitsune replied innocently. "After all, she freaked out when Tama-chan showed up."

"Eehhh…she'll live, I guess." Naru shrugged. "As long as she doesn't try to pat the damn thing, that is." Perking up now that the caffeine had entered her bloodstream, Naru decided to go and study for a bit before breakfast. "Call me when it's ready!" She asked over her shoulder on her way out.

Kitsune watched her friend go with a slight smirk on her face. "So when _does _kendo-girl get back?"

"This afternoon, I think." Shinobu answered absently while focusing back on her task of making the morning meal.

"Does she now. Hmm…might do to make sure she receives a proper introduction to our newest guest." She muttered to herself, eyes twinkling with mischief.

* * *

Breakfast went well. Oni had managed to hop up on Keitaro's lap immediately after he sat down, and refused to budge. Despite already having been fed, the cat was extraordinarily interested in every morsel of food that travelled between Keitaro's plate and his mouth.

Everyone but Naru thought that the way Oni took swipes at his chopsticks was cute. Keitaro fidgeted slightly, though. He was not used to being the centre of attention in a good way. But, he didn't mind his new pet's antics. The girls were more focused on Oni, therefore he was able to get through a meal without being teased, belittled or pounded. It actually ended up being the most enjoyable meal he'd had in ages.

* * *

That afternoon, Motoko returned from her training camp.

Entering the common room, she found Kitsune in her usual position on the couch in front of the television, shouting at it to try and inspire the horse she'd bet on to greater speed.

"COME ON YOU STUPID NAG! GET OVER THE LINE FIRST OR IT'S THE GLUE FACTORY FOR YOU…oh, hi Motoko. Welcome back." Kitsune paused to catch her breath after all that yelling.

"Greetings, Kitsune." Motoko sniffed. "Still not able to choose a winner correctly, I see." Placing her coat in the hall closet, she picked up her backpack and headed for her room on the third floor. "Did I miss anything while I was gone? Has that male left yet?" She asked hopefully.

"Nup!" Kitsune grinned. She was _so _gonna enjoy this. "In fact, he's taken on another tenant while you were gone."

Motoko paused upon hearing that. "Oh. Well, let me get freshened up, and you can introduce me to her."

"Okay. Let me know when you're ready, and I'll find _him _for you."

Motoko took three steps before what Kitsune had said sunk in properly. She turned back to face Kitsune slowly. "_What?!_"

"Yeah, it's another guy. Pretty cute too. You might like him." She paused for a second. "I know Shinobu does. She has him eating out of her hand already, an' he's barely been here a day."

Veins began popping out on her forehead at the thought of yet _another _male desecrating the sacred soil that is the Hinata-Sou. _'I am gone for barely a few days, and this happens. Why hasn't Naru done something about this situation? I must act quickly. I must set this…this…__travesty__ to rights immediately. First; Keitaro. Then; who ever this interloper happens to be.' _Whipping out her sword, Motoko charged up the stairs, heading for the Kanrinin's room at top speed. "KEI-TA-RO!"

Kitsune watched her race off blankly_. 'Ah crap! I didn't think she'd fly off the handle so quickly.' _Knowing there was no way to stop what was about to unfold, Kitsune went to the window and waited for the next flight of the Trans-Hinata-airways. _'Sorry Kei.' _

* * *

"_KEI-TA-RO!" _

Keitaro heard the enraged roar coming from the ground floor, and identified to shouter immediately. "Motoko's back. And I'll bet Kitsune got to her first." He said to himself, correctly deducting what had happened downstairs. "Guess I should have figured that she'd do something like this. That girl just loves causing trouble." Knowing that there'd be no time for him to find a hiding place before she bursts into his room, Keitaro just opened his window and stood in front of it. _'There. That should minimise any structural damage.' _He had time to think before his door flew open.

"You vile, lecherous male! It's not bad enough that you pollute the purity of the Hinata with your continued presence. Now you try to bring more filthy perverts here. Well, I will not stand for it. Point me to this other male, so that I might let him suffer the same fate you are about to." She shouted from just inside the doorway while pointing her katana at him.

Keitaro sighed, pointed to her left, and braced himself. "He's right next to you."

"AAAHHH! Boulder cutting master strike!" She hurled the Ki-blast at Keitaro before quickly turning to face the other threat to her side.

Which turned out to be just a white cat, staring up at her. "Huh?" She sputtered in surprise, completely ignoring the _Kanrinin's _flight out the window. _'This-__this__ is the new male living at the Hinata?' _Motoko finally put the pieces together. _'Oohhh that Kitsune! She will pay for tricking me like this!' _The kendoist knelt down to introduce herself to the cat, and give it a pat. "Hello there. I am Motoko Aoyama. You do not seem so bad, considering your owner." She reached out to give the cat a friendly pat.

This was when she found out that Oni is quite protective of his new provider.

* * *

"Hey…what the?…OW!…Stop that!…OUCH!…OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!"

Kitsune had just started to make her way upstairs to set her fellow tenant straight about the true identity of their newest tenant, when she heard the shouting. Raising an eyebrow, she looked up the stairs in time to see Motoko flying towards her with a furry white buzz saw attached to her head.

--CRASH--

Ploughing into the fox, Motoko landed heavily on top of her, the cat still trying it's level best to scalp her.

"Help! The cats possessed by a vicious demon. I need you to hold it still while I try to drive it out." Motoko pleaded to Kitsune while she attempted to peel Oni off, without success.

"Ow! Getorfmeyanutcase!" Kitsune gasped. Motoko was almost pure muscle after all, and not as light as a normal teen her age.

Finally managing to separate the irate feline from her head and hurl it across the room, Motoko took a defensive stance. "Get up and grab it, Kitsune. _Quickly! _I need the demon to be immobile if I am to have any chance of purging it from the poor creature." She brandished her sword at Oni, who was circling her and hissing angrily. His fur was standing up straight, displaying just _how _pissed off he was.

"Motoko, chill!" Kitsune sat up, checking herself for injuries and finding a couple. _'Ouch! That's gonna bruise. Serves me right, I guess. Karma's a bitch!'_ Getting to her feet, she placed herself between the cat and the kendo-girl. "That is Oni, Keitaro's new cat. He just got him yesterday, an' I don't think he'd appreciate you carving it up, just because o' him attacking you after you went an' hit Kei."

"Huh?" Motoko was confused, and it showed clearly.

"It seems that the cat is a bit defensive about Keitaro. Naru punched him yesterday, an' after Oni got through with her she needed a whole box of bandaids to patch herself up afterwards."

As Kitsune mentioned getting patched up, Motoko started to feel where Oni had nailed her in more than a few places. "Ouch. Whatever. Just keep that demonic beast away from me." She winced and stumbled away, heading for the first-aid cabinet. "And I thought that damned t-t-t…hard-shelled flying terror was bad…" She mumbled under her breath as she exited the room.

As she walked out, Keitaro walked in from the opposite end of the room.

"Oh hi um…sorry 'bout that Kei." Kitsune had the decency to look honestly ashamed of herself when he glared at her. "I thought I'd have time to tease her for a bit before she charged off."

Keitaro held his angry stare for a minute, before deflating with a sigh. "Just…try to think before you do something like that in future Kitsune. I know it's funny for you to watch, but her secret techniques hurt like hell." Collapsing on the couch, he 'ooffed' slightly when Oni landed on his stomach and began butting his chin with her head in concern. "Yeah, I'm okay kitty-cat." He stroked the feline weakly. "Gimme a minute an' I'll be back on my feet."

"Heh. That cat's becoming your personal avenging angel, Kei." He looked at her strangely, awaiting an explanation. "Remember what he did to Naru yesterday." He nodded, chuckling slightly. "Well, Motoko got it much worse."

"You're kidding?"

"Nuh-uh! Kendo-girl's gonna look like the mummy for a few days." She chortled. Keitaro joined her in trying vainly to stifle the laughter threatening to erupt from both of them at that mental image.

* * *

The next few weeks were actually the most painless Keitaro could remember spending at the Hinata. Naru and Motoko warily kept their distance from Oni, who was more often than not found in the immediate vicinity of Keitaro. As a result, there were far less opportunities for him to get into compromising situations.

Indeed, the cat had developed the habit of following Keitaro around the Hinata as he went about his duties as _Kanrinin_. When Keitaro belatedly noticed this, he had the idea of placing a small bell on Oni's collar. This meant that as they wandered the Inn, the girls always knew when he was nearby by the light tinkling made by Oni's bell. It was amazing how many situations were avoided, simply due to a bit of forewarning.

As a result, Keitaro was able to spend more time devoted to his studies and duties. Naru was more than a little impressed by the improvement he made in their study sessions.

Kitsune eased back on her pranks for a short time in memory of what had happened, but her foxlike nature eventually became too strong to ignore. However, she found herself in for a surprise.

When she next attempted to flirt a rent reduction out of Keitaro, she found herself on the receiving end of a paw full of claws.

Later, as she was patching herself up and trying to ignore the badly disguised sniggering coming from Motoko and Naru, she wondered aloud why Oni attacked her. She wasn't hurting Keitaro?

Su popped her head around the corner suddenly, wearing a professor's cap and gown.

"Well, my theory kinda goes like this; whenever Keitaros gets stressed, the fuzzy terror reacts to his saviour's agitation and goes after whoever is responsible."

"Hm…you might be on to something there, Su." Kitsune admitted slowly after a moment's consideration.

Seeing the thoughtful expressions, Su cackled gleefully. "HAHA! My work here is done. Back to the jungle for me! Defenceless bananas need savouring." Whipping out a grappling gun from somewhere within the folds of her gown, she shot a line out of the room and swung away.

Watching the young foreigner depart, Kitsune sighed. "Well, at least she didn't blow anything up." Pausing, she reached down and rapped a knuckle against the polished wooden floor. "Just in case." She commented when she noticed Naru give her a weird look.

Naru blinked, and then nodded. "Fair enough."

* * *

About a month and a half later, Keitaro, Mutsumi and Naru found themselves sitting in Naru's room around her kotatsu table, studying. A light scratching at the door signified that a certain someone wanted in. Looking over at Naru, Keitaro waited for the slight nod before he stood up and walked over. Letting his pet in, he returned to the table and got comfortable again.

"Hello, Oni-chan." Mutsumi greeted it cheerfully, receiving a rub to her chin and some purring for her troubles. As you might have guessed, the Okinawan had bonded instantly with Keitaro's pet. Although she hadn't been able to get him to partake of any watermelon yet. Way too sticky for an animal so fastidious about personal grooming, Kei thought privately.

Naru looked at her enviously. She had tried everything she could think of to get on its good side, without success. Even an attempt to feed it under Shinobu's careful supervision had failed. Oni had turned his nose up at the offering and walked away, tail high. What made it worse was that two minutes later, as Shinobu made to throw the plate of tuna away, Oni had magically appeared again and began begging for the very same plate that Naru had attempted to give him.

It was all very disheartening. And it made the rare times she found herself near Keitaro slightly depressing. After all, it was hard to get close to him with the white devil, as Motoko had become fond of calling it, always staring at her. _Daring _her to give it an excuse to open a paw full of whup-ass on her.

Naru found that she was actually missing Keitaro's antics from before. Sure, she put him through the wall occasionally. But she didn't _mean _anything by it! If he could curb his baser instincts around them, it wouldn't happen.

'_And it hasn't. For a while now.' _She thought glumly. She should be happy for that. But she realised that the only reason _why _was because she and Motoko, and to a lesser extent Kitsune, were keeping their distance.

'_Could it be our fault? Could we three be causing those situations to happen, somehow?' _It was not a thought she wanted to acknowledge, but the evidence was beginning to stack up.

"Are you okay over there, Naru?" Keitaro's question jolted her out of her thoughts. Looking over, she saw the honest concern on his face, and reciprocated with a smile.

"I'm fine Keitaro. Just thinking is all."

Continuing to stare at her for a moment, he gave her a brief smile of his own and returned to his study.

Naru continued to watch him. _'I like it when he smiles at me like that. I wish…' _she paused, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach being caused by this line of thought. _'I wish he'd do it more often.'_

* * *

Later that night, hours after the three of them had fallen asleep from studying so hard, Naru awoke with a start. Something soft was poking her lower leg.

Her first thought was to leap to her feet and pound Keitaro for what was obviously an attempt on his part to cop a free feel while he thought she was asleep.

Her next thought was to pause and gather more information before flying off at the handle. The last time she had found herself in this situation, and had started swinging blindly before making sure of her facts, it had taken _two _boxes of bandaids and a roll of bandages to patch herself up. _And _the little so-and-so had left a smelly brown present in her favourite pair of shoes, later that day.

Carefully lifting the blanket that went around the edge of the kotatsu table, she spied a white shape peering back at her. Oni had made himself at home under the heated table in his search for a warm place to sleep, and had been using her leg as a pillow.

'_Stupid cat!' _Naru let out a quiet sigh of relief. "Do you know what I nearly did?" Reaching down cautiously, she gently dragged it out from under the table, ignoring it's mewls of indignation at being taken away from the warmth. "Oh hush." She whispered, propping it on her chest and staring it in the eye. "I think its time you and I came to an understanding." Oni looked back at her blandly.

"He rescued you from certain death. You like him. I get that. But here's the thing. I…" Naru looked away and checked that both of her study-buddies were still asleep. "I like him too." She whispered, blushing furiously. "You don't know what he was like before you arrived. Always peeping on us, or putting his hands somewhere he shouldn't." Oni continued to regard her without interest, as if waiting for her to get to the point and let him get back under the blanket. "But, that started to change when you came along. Things have been better. And…I'm beginning to wonder if part of it might have been our…_my _fault." The cat blinked, slightly interested now. "So, here's the deal: you stop clawing me every time I come within two metres of Keitaro, and I'll try to restrain myself when he screws up."

Oni turned his nose up and away from her. Naru held out for a few seconds, before caving in. "_Alright! _I won't hit him anymore unless he really deserves it!" Oni held his pose. "_Okay!! _I won't hit him at all."

Facing her again, Oni began to fidget. Releasing him, Naru watched as the cat sat down on her and began kneading her belly for a bit, _without _claws, before lying down and grooming himself. When he started purring, she let out the breath she had been holding. "I'll take that as a yes then." Dropping her head back onto her cushion, she hesitantly started stroking the bundle of attitude that was using her as a pillow. "You drive a hard bargain, furball."

* * *

On the opposite side of the Kotatsu table, Mutsumi smiled to herself as she drifted back to sleep, having heard the entire exchange.

* * *

In the weeks following, things slowly continued to improve for Keitaro. Naru stopped swinging first and asking questions later. After the incident with the shoes, she felt it wasn't worth the hassle. Besides, she saw what the cat put Motoko through, and wanted _no _part of that action!

Motoko warily kept her distance, and made an honest attempt to be more polite to the _Kanrinin _when they had reason to interact with each other. She too had fallen afoul of Oni's interesting ways of making sure the girls paid for their sins. Several of her wooden practice bokkens had been scratched or chewed into splinters. Her favourite training outfits had found their way into some very tight and unusual places throughout the Hinata, or were simply coated with cat hair. And it had taken days for her to figure out where that putrid smell was emanating from in her room. Inside her samurai armour, it turns out. Even Su couldn't figure out how the cat had managed to squeeze in there, do his business, and squeeze back out again. He'd even been able to find out where she hid her short stories somehow, and coat them in hairballs.

It was a good thing Oni was already neutered, because Motoko was ready to cut _something _off his body for that last one!

Kitsune gradually wound back her more outrageous behaviour in relation to him. And her habit of laying around for long periods of time actually enamoured her to Oni. She was warm, soft, immobile for hours on end, and didn't twitch too much. _Perfect _for napping against. However, when Kitsune decided to roll over that time, the entire district heard her scream of pain as Oni dug four sets of claws into her back to get her the hell _off _him.

Even Haruka had heard Kitsune's agonizing shriek all the way down in her teahouse, and charged up the hill at full speed demanding to know who was doing what to who. When she had found out the reason behind the noise, the tenants were treated to the unique sight of Keitaro's normally stoic aunt rolling around on the floor, laughing her arse off uncontrollably while tears streamed out of her eyes!

At first, Keitaro merely put it down to his tenants not wanting to provoke his pet. However, when they began to actually respect his personal space and not barge into his room without knocking first, he wondered what else was going through their minds. Naru was the real surprise, especially when she started to slowly open up to him, and regard him as something more than a perverted stress ball. She even began initiating conversations with him. Although, he usually became so nervous about screwing them up that they ended up being brief.

Su still managed to get away with using him as a test subject, But Keitaro put Oni's lack of aggressive response down to him having exchanged notes with Tama-chan on what the diminutive genius was capable of.

Oni too was becoming more comfortable around the others. Shinobu was his favourite out of the girls, and not just because she was the primary food-giver. Mutsumi was a close second. Su, he kept a wary eye on, but accepted any petting he received from her with regal grace. Naru and he continued to hold to their private agreement, whereas Kitsune had actually attempted to get him drunk once as a joke. This backfired on the fox badly when Oni suddenly developed a taste for sake. Keitaro and the others actually found it amusing sometimes to see a grown woman drunkenly chasing a cat around the living room, hurling abuse at said cat after he had once again attempted to slurp up her alcohol before she was finished with it.

* * *

Coming up to the end of the third month of Oni's residence at the Hinata-Sou, Keitaro occasionally wondered how strange it was that circumstances had turned out the way they had. He had adopted Oni because he felt at the time that the poor little guy had deserved a better fate than the one it had been abandoned to. Now, it felt that finding that cat was actually more of a blessing for him than the cat. His life had improved far beyond any point in his past than he could remember. He was relating to his tenants better, and this year he looked certain to get into Toudai for sure with all the extra studying he was doing. The repair bill for the Hinata was _way _down. He had even managed to enhance his personal savings beyond the level of meagre. And Oni had even managed to win over the girls, despite a rocky start with a few of them. There had been one stubborn holdout, though…

He had been worried that Motoko still actively disliked his pet because of the way the first few weeks had gone after they were introduced. He needn't have bothered. One day, he happened to be going up to the roof for something, when he spotted Motoko meditating cross-legged on the roof in the sun, with Oni curled up blissfully in her lap. The smile she wore was similar to the one his cat was wearing. Pure contentment.

But the biggest surprise for Keitaro was reserved for the afternoon he had made an appointment at the vet for Oni.

* * *

-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-

Naru looked towards the centre of her room to see Liddo-kun jumping slightly upon the wooden board separating her room from Keitaro's. "What do you want Keitaro?" She called out loudly.

"Are you decent?" Came the muffled reply.

Naru looked down at the sweatpants and oversized shirt she was wearing, and decided that it was no worse than anything he had seen her in before. "Yeah. Come on up."

The board slid away and a pair of hands gripped the sides of the hole. Keitaro warily hoisted himself up into Naru's room, and sat with his legs still dangling into his room. "Hi. Have you seen Oni anywhere?" He asked cautiously, making sure that he was not looking anywhere that might invite a beating.

Naru watched as he kept his eye line on a vague point somewhere over her head. _' He really is scared of me, isn't he.' _It was not something that would have bothered her, a few months ago. But, she had been going through a bout of personal reflection recently, and it hurt to know that someone she liked was petrified of her. She intended to change that. "He's over there." She indicated to the other side of the room, where Keitaro's pet had taken up residence in a patch of sunshine slowly making its way across her doona.

Finally dragging the lower half of his body fully into her room, Keitaro slid the wooden board with Liddo-kun on it back into position before cautiously making his way over to the cat that was happily stretched out on Naru's bed. Picking him up, and ignoring the disgruntled noises emanating from him, the Kanrinin faced towards Naru briefly. "Thanks, Naru. Come on, fuzzy. We've got places to be." He bowed slightly as he made his way to her door.

"Where are you two going?" Naru asked suddenly.

He paused on the threshold. "Huh? Oh, we've got an appointment. The vet asked me to bring him back after three months for a check-up. So I'm probably going to be gone for most of the afternoon. Would you mind letting the other's know?" He asked as the thought occurred to him.

"Sure." Naru nodded.

Seeing that there were no other questions, Keitaro waved with his free hand and exited her room.

Naru watched him go, an idea forming in her head.

* * *

Keitaro was almost to the bottom of the stairs with Oni safely tucked into his travelling box, when someone called out his name. "Kei! Wait up!"

Spinning around, he saw Naru walking swiftly towards him. _'Oh crap! What did I do?' _He panicked as he desperately reviewed everything he could remember doing in the last forty-eight hours. The process screeched to a halt when he saw the friendly smile on her face. He then noticed that somewhere in the five minutes it had taken him to stuff his reluctant pet into the cat carrier, she had changed out of her house clothes into a very fetching winter dress, with the red over coat he had given her that first Christmas over the top.

"Want some company?" She asked eagerly as she stepped up to him.

"…………………um, sure. If you want?" He squeaked.

"Good. Lead on." With that, she latched on to his free arm lightly.

Stunned into speechlessness, he complied. They had almost made it to the front door when another voice called out. "_Heeeeeeeeey!_ Where are you two goin', all cosy like an' together?" Kitsune drawled.

"Keitaro is taking Oni to the vet for a check-up." Naru answered, releasing Keitaro and stepping away a bit. "I decided to tag along to get out of the Inn for a while."

Kitsune's eyes narrowed in readiness for a spot of Naru-baiting. "_oooohh! _Y'mean, like a date, or something?" She enquired pointedly, looking from one ronin to the other in a suggestive manner.

Keitaro braced himself, hoping he would have enough time to get Oni safely out of the way before Naru began violently denying Kitsune's insinuation. _'And it was starting to be such a promising day!' _He wailed internally.

"Something like that, yeah." Naru answered softly, causing both Kitsune and Keitaro's jaws to drop to the ground. "Come on, Keitaro. We don't want to miss the tram." Pulling on his arm, she got him walking again and out the door before Kitsune could recover properly. The fox came back in time to notice that Naru did not let go of Keitaro once they started down the stairs leading to the street.

'_Well damn! I never thought I'd see the day?' _Kitsune mused, wondering at what she felt had most likely caused this dramatic turnaround, and hoping the new circumstances lasted.

'_Who'd a thought that a cat would be the thing to cause those two to start to get together?' _

Shaking her head ruefully, Kitsune wandered back inside to ponder over a drink or three about how a cat had managed to do in three short months what she couldn't do in a much longer space of time. _'That darned cat!'_

* * *

**THE END**

Notes: My goodness! I think I actually wrote a Kei/Naru fic by accident. First time for everything, I s'pose. Go figure. Hope that doesn't detract from everyone's enjoyment.

I honestly couldn't tell you where the idea for this one came from. It just popped into my head one day last year and wouldn't go away. I tinkered with it for a few weeks, before abandoning it for several months. I dusted it off a few days ago, and here it is. It's only a one-shot, and really only written for my Soulmate, so don't bother asking for more. My only hope was that everyone enjoyed this piece of fluff, and got a small chuckle out of it. T

* * *


End file.
